A woman was praised online after she rejected an engagement ring her boyfriend's mom picked out for her.
Posting in Reddit's notorious 'Am I The A**hole' thread, a woman opened up about her disappointment after discovering that her boyfriend of 10 years allowed his mother to design her wedding ring.
The couple agreed that they were ready to take the next step after spending a decade together and started the process of confirming what they wanted for the future.
"We've both expressed that we'd be perfectly happy doing something small - a minimalistic ring, a small proposal, and a small wedding ceremony would be great," she wrote. "He's asked me if I cared about what kind of ring we'd get for our wedding, and I said it didn't matter to me as it was just for the sentiment and not the value of the item. All I ask is that the proposal be something special because it'd be a once-in-a-lifetime thing."
However, she was shocked to discover that he would take the comment a little too literally and just pass over the responsibility to his mom.
"...His mother showed up at our house, unannounced, while he was at work, with two ring boxes. Apparently, when I said the rings didn't matter, he thought it meant he could just forego choosing a ring entirely and just have his mother choose them," she continued.
"He'd sent his mother a picture of an approximate style for what he wanted, and she took the liberty of picking both the final products for the proposal ring and the wedding ring without ever consulting him. He never even followed up to check what she was picking before decisions were finalized!" she added.
And just to make matters worse, she even scrapped his plan to do a "special proposal" just because her excitement got the better of her - that's why she showed up at the house while the woman's boyfriend was at work to show the bride-to-be first.
"To say I'm livid is an understatement," she continued in the post, before stating that she "rejected the rings."
"Now my boyfriend is upset and not understanding why I'm angry," she continued. "He said I'd told him the rings didn't matter, so why did it matter if his mother chose them? But as far as I'm concerned, while the ring itself did not matter, I thought I'd made it clear that the sentiment behind it was what I valued.
"What sentiment is there if he didn't even put any effort into choosing it, and wasn't even present when his mother spontaneously delivered it? What the hell was that? Is mommy going to do his wedding speech for him too?"
The boyfriend was also pretty angry himself as he responded that she had "misled him."
"But is it not common sense?" she questioned. "If he were hypothetically asking me what I wanted for dinner instead, and I'd said anything was fine, it should not need to be said that I'd expect actual edible dinner food and not $80 of chocolate or something. At MINIMUM I just wanted him to pick something meaningful!
"It'd be a waste of money to want new rings but AITA for wanting these replaced?" she concluded.
While some people claimed that the writer of the post should have been more clear with her request, a lot of people praised her for rejecting the rings.
"NTA [not the a**hole] - I think you tried way too hard to be the cool girl who wasn't into all that wedding hullabaloo BUT your bf [boyfriend] really had no common sense here," wrote one user while another added: "NTA. I agree with you, just because you weren’t picky about the style of the rings doesn’t mean that he gets a pass to put in absolutely no effort."
"NTA," a third stated. "You said it was the sentiment that you wanted. You shouldn't have had to clarify that it was HIS sentiment. He needs to start again."
One pointed out: "My man could choose a $20 ring. But he's gotta choose it. Otherwise it's not from him," to which the original poster replied: "This was 100% my thought process, yes. Edit to add: which is ironic, because his mother actually picked something very expensive... I just really hate that it's not from him. I didn't sign up to marry his mom."
And, this user also commented writing: "NTA, honestly I don’t even care if you didn’t specify the importance was the sentiment. He should’ve known that. Hell the mother should’ve known that. That was such a bad call on his part."
What do you think? Would you be happy if your other half did this?
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